The Science of the Sigh: Lessons from My First Session

Good morning, everyone. If you’re reading this at 10:00 AM, just know that I am likely sitting in a patch of sunlight, nursing a glass of something green and spicy, and trying to remember how to just be. Lately, my mornings have felt like a race I didn’t sign up for. For a long time, my routine was built around Ethel. Taking care of her, monitoring her, loving her through the hard days. When that focus was suddenly gone, I found myself standing in the middle of my kitchen with a "blank mind," wondering what to do with my hands, my time, and my heart.

Today, I want to talk about the first step I took toward finding my way back to myself. I had my first therapy session with Megumi Britt, an LCSW from BetterHealth, and it was, in a word, grounding. We talked a lot about structure, mindfulness, and the physiological reality of what I’ve been feeling. It turns out, that "blank mind" feeling isn’t just me being forgetful; it’s a biological response.

The Anatomy of the "Blank" Mind

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed that your brain just… shuts off? Like you’re staring at a grocery list or a work email and the words just don’t make sense anymore? Megumi explained that during the fight-or-flight response, it’s incredibly common to experience this "blank" sensation. Your heart rate climbs, your muscles tense up, and your brain prioritizes survival over high-level processing.

The problem is, our bodies haven’t quite figured out that a looming deadline or the crushing weight of grief isn’t the same thing as a predator chasing us through the woods. These bodily responses, while meant to protect us, don't do much good when we’re just trying to navigate a Tuesday morning. This is where the "Science of the Sigh" comes in.

Mastering the Deep Breath

We went over a relaxation worksheet that focused on reversing these physical symptoms before they spiral. The key is deep breathing. It sounds simple, almost too simple, but the science behind it is fascinating. When we are stressed, our breath becomes shallow and rapid. By consciously taking long, deep breaths, we send a direct message to our brain to begin calming the body. It’s a manual override for the nervous system.

Here is the specific technique Megumi shared with me, and I’ve been practicing it every time I feel that chest-tightening anxiety start to creep in:

1. The Inhale: Breathe in slowly. Count in your head and make sure the inward breath lasts at least 5 seconds. Focus on the sensation of the air filling your lungs, not just the top of your chest, but deep into your belly.

2. The Hold: Hold your breath for 5 to 10 seconds. You don’t want to feel like you’re gasping or uncomfortable, but it should be a significant pause.

3. The Straw Exhale: Breathe out very slowly for 5 to 10 seconds. Megumi suggested pretending you’re breathing through a straw to slow the air down. (I actually tried using a real straw this morning, and it really helps you find that rhythm!)

4. Repeat: Keep going until you feel the physical "edge" start to soften.

The goal isn't to wait until you’re in a full-blown panic. It’s about practicing these skills while you’re calm so that your body knows exactly what to do when things get heavy.

From Caregiving to Self-Preservation

For a long time, "taking care of me" felt like a secondary thought. I was a caregiver first. But as I move through this journey of grief, I’m realizing that there is no time limit on how long it takes to feel "okay." In fact, Megumi and I discussed how it’s perfectly fine to not be okay.

Right now, if someone asks how I am, I can’t quite say I’m "fine" yet. But I can say I’m level. I’m finding a baseline. Part of finding that level is reclaiming my morning routine and focusing on the anti-inflammatory, healing properties of the things I grow right in my own garden.

Garden to Glass: My Morning Ritual

My garden has always been my sanctuary, but now I’m using it as my pharmacy, too. I’m focusing on herbs and vegetables with heavy anti-inflammatory properties to help combat the physical toll that stress takes on the body.

My morning now follows a very specific, intentional flow:

• 07:00 AM (or whenever the sun wakes me): I start with 12 ounces of warm lemon water. It’s a simple way to wake up the digestive system and hydrate after a long night.

• The Neural Clarity Tea: This is my secret weapon. I brew a base of rosemary and ginger, add a spoonful of raw honey, and then add a fresh infusion of lemon balm and basil from the garden. It’s bright, herbal, and helps clear that morning fog without the jitters.

• 09:30 AM: The Anti-Inflammatory Power Hour: This is when I make my juice. I usually go for a combination of celery and either a red-fleshed apple or a red-fleshed kiwi (the colors are just stunning). I add turmeric, a pinch of black pepper (to activate the curcumin), and a dash of Himalayan pink salt. It adds a dynamic flavor profile that really wakes up the palate.

The Power of Ten Minutes

Along with the drinks and the breathing, I’ve committed to 10 minutes of sitting in the sunlight. No phone, no notes, no planning the next trip for Dale's Angels Inc., just sitting. There is something about the natural light combined with a natural regimen that is just incredibly uplifting. It prepares my mind to handle the day rather than just reacting to it.

I used to spend this time focused on Ethel’s needs. Now, I have to refocus that energy inward. It’s a difficult transition, and some mornings are harder than others. But as I told Megumi, the day will eventually come when I can nod my head and truly mean it when I say I’m doing fine. I’m not there yet, and that’s okay.

Finding Your Level

If you’re going through a period of transition or grief, I encourage you to look at your "fight-or-flight" symptoms not as a failure, but as a signal. Your body is trying to protect you. You just have to give it the tools to stand down. Whether it’s through a specific tea blend, a deep breath through a straw, or a session with someone like Megumi, please remember that you deserve the same care you so freely give to others.

We’re going to be talking a lot more about this over the coming weeks as I continue my sessions. We’ll be looking at more mindfulness techniques and how to maintain this structure even when the world feels a little chaotic.

For now, I’m going to finish my juice, take one more 10-second exhale, and get ready for the day. I hope you find a moment of peace in your morning, too.

If you’re looking for more ways to ground yourself or want to learn about the ancestral resilience we practice here, feel free to check out AfroDruids or learn more about us and our mission of compassion.

Stay level, everyone.

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